As an avid drinker aficionado of cheap booze and heavy beer, I am the self-proclaimed master in leaving the bar with money in my pocket. It cracks me up when friends go “I spent over $100 last night.” Then I chuckle “I only spent $20.” BOOM…ROASTED! Below are tricks of the trade to free drinking in the game of drink hustling.
1. “Would You Like to Start a Tab?”
Does a one legged duck swim in circles? By leaving a card at the bar, you rule out tipping every drink which most people don’t think about. Guess what, that $4 beer was actually $5. Start a tab and tip at the end; it will save you DiNero for an extra round of Silver Strike. Note on tipping: Always be generous when tipping. What goes around comes around…even free drinks, don’t be tight in this area.
2. Hustle The City for Specials…
Never go out before you first look around for specials. Get online, call the bar, or ask friends. Bars usually run specials, but they have a hard time promoting them. One quick phone call could save you loads of cash. Plus, who doesn’t like dollar bottles?
3. Travel like Wu-Tang…
Think about it. If you go to the bar with 1 friend, the likelihood of having them buy you drinks is not as high. If you go to the bar with 10 friends, you have just increased your odds of free drinks by 1000%. Always go to the bar with a small army of potential drink suitors.
4. Become a Drink Sideshow…
If you have ever read Tucker Max “I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell,” (highly suggested read) than you would know the value of a good bar prop. A breathalyzer, feather boa, card trick, or anything that gains attention will surely increase your chances of drink stardom. WARNING: Bar Props are at your own risk at the possibility as coming off as a douche bag. You’ve been warned.
5. Get OUT of the Corner!
The guy sitting in the corner has 2 things going for him
-He will never get laid.
-He will never get anyone to buy his drinks.
Get out of the corner and get up to the bar! Talk to people, yell, be loud and gain attention from everyone. People only want to buy drinks for the guy who is the center of attention. Tell stories, engage, tell jokes, and tell more stories to highly increase your chances of getting laid, I’m mean free drinks.
I have been in bars since I was 17, and just now turned 26. Do the math and that’s over 1095 consecutive days inside bars. Take my words of advice, go out more and spend less doing it. If you take anything from this guide make it be my Note on Tipping.
-Phil
I forgot to mention Pre-Drinking…thats an old college favorite!
Any more tips?
…Unless it’s McNallys, then you have to sit in the corner and down 20 shots by yourself while ordering from the same bartender. Aside from being the definition of hardcore, the bartender will remember you for years later and be so impressed with your drinking abilities most of your drinks for the next few years will be free.
I like where your heads at!
20 shots upfront + puking rail Tequilla all night = long term investment
Years of free drinks for being that bad ass = money well spent