Sent to us from The Midwest…Enjoy!
“It was a random night, and I had just traveled home from college for winter break. Upon arriving at my parent’s house we had dinner and I started drinking. Why not? School was out, it’s a Monday, and I crush whiskey. Any problems with that?
I decided to go out for the night, being from a small town that doesn’t leave many options. We end up at a friends house playing drinking games, and talking about old times. Me, myself, and Ten High. Now if you are not familiar with The Ten Hizz, let me enlighten you. This is Sour Mash Bottom Barrel Whiskey that resembles swallowing a hot rusty nail. I once watched a friend chug an entire glass of the stuff, and his face almost melted off. Somehow, during college I acquired quite a taste for the sour mash. Classy, I know…
So the night carries on, and I decide it’s a great idea to finish the entire fifth. Ya know, what any respectable male would do to a bottle of whiskey. Throw in a couple tequila shots and I was 10 feet tall bulletproof. But, that’s not where it ended.
I ventured home after the night out with old friends. Luckily, I managed not to make an ass out of myself too badly, and felt pretty confident with my performance. The following is a decision that will stay with me for the rest of my life. Not to mention, makes this story all worth your time.
Upon arriving back to my parent’s house, I decide to have a personal beat session. Whiskey drunk and swaggering I manage to get all my clothes off. Since my bed was in the corner, I stack a mound of pillows and propped myself up in the corner. Next, my laptop was strategically place on the bed next to me for viewing pleasure. Hell of a set up, right?
So after a fifth of Ten High, what happens? I pass out cold. There I am, propped up in my bed, naked, junk in hand, with porn kicking on my computer next to me. This is all fine and dandy, but I had made an EPIC FAIL. I told my father to say good bye to me before leaving for work in the morning…
8am rolls around and there I am with my father standing over me, butt naked and junk still in hand! I briefly remember looking over, and the porn still visible on my laptop. He shut my computer, quickly covered me up, and RAN! I just passed back out…
To this day not a word has been spoken about this incident, sort of a man code between father and son.”
Our Thoughts…
First off, who in their right mind decides to have a beat session after drinking enough whiskey to kill a small elephant? You realize how long that will take? You’re bound to pass out in the middle.
Secondly, NEVER DISCUSS THIS WITH YOUR FATHER. Obey the strict unspoken man law, and leave this subject untouched. Your father is no stranger to these rituals, he knew what was going on, just let it be…
DO you have a story that can top this? Send it to us or comment below!
Greatest story ever.
Quite hilarious if you ask me…
Mental Note: Whiskey + Beat Sessions = Epic Fail
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