The Mad Olive: A Men's Guide to Getting Social and Drink Hustling

Real Quick:  I apologize for denying you guys last week.  It was the holidays, and I had serious writers block.  Without further ado…lets get it cranking:)

Do you attend sporting events? Hot dogs, pretzels, skanky women, and of course – BEER!

What more could a guy ask for?  Obvious answer would be two women at one time…while watching the Superbowl.  But that’s a whole different post.

Lets be honest, each sporting event deserves a different drinking etiquette.  Unless you’re the type that says fuck it and pounds through each inning like boxed wine at a bridal shower.

Here’s how you should pace yourself at each different sporting events:

Baseball

America’s pastime sport and typically made for the endurance drinker.  Until regulations decided to cut us off at the 7th inning.  Can we call bullshit?

This can get tricky.  You must immediately get a sweet brew dog upon arriving at the stadium.  Depending on how this one goes will determine the rest of the game.

You slam it:  Immediately get another.

Takes you 2 innings:  6 beer pace.

Every 2 innings after your team bats, than you must get another beer.  This ensures you finish 6 beers before the 7th inning cutoff.  I once saw a good friend eat 8 beers before the 5th, don’t be a pussy…

Football

This is a sport that screams blackout.  4 quarters, men trying to kill each other, and cheerleaders.  Can you ask for much more?

Start slamming beers, and do not stop.  Especially if it is an outdoor stadium.  Football is the only sport you are allowed to crawl out of the stadium.  This is war gentleman…

Hockey

While almost as brutal as football, there is a huge factor in play:

3 Periods

Not an even number like two or four, but three.  This is a game changer.  Not to mention they typically quit serving after the 2nd period.

Desperate times call for desperate measures.  This is when a flask is by all means necessary.  Get yourself a large soda, and dump as much whiskey in as possible.

We do not make the rules, we only break them…

Basketball

If its the NBA, you are a pussy.  If it is college, you should be way too drunk to even attend.

What other sporting events can u think of?  I have never been to a pro soccer game, but I can imagine slamming beezos!

Tags: carry me out of the stadium, drinking, social, sporting events, sports

This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 1st, 2009 at 10:30 pm and is filed under Drink Hustling, Tips and Tricks. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.