Santa is a cowboy, and cowboys don’t drink fucking milk.
Every year we shove milk down the poor guys throat, have you ever seen Jackass? Down a gallon of milk and your blowing chunks like Garth from Wayne’s World.
Don’t you think the big guy enjoys himself a cocktail? I would feel much better flying around the world if I could slam whiskey at each house.
Below are the top 5 drinks you should serve Santa this Christmas:
I love the Russians!
According to the Huffington Post, a Russian professor has created a way to condense alcohol into pill form. That’s correct, booze in a pill!
I actually thought of this idea years ago, but was to busy drinking to actually follow through…
Real Quick: I apologize for denying you guys last week. It was the holidays, and I had serious writers block. Without further ado…lets get it cranking:)
Do you attend sporting events? Hot dogs, pretzels, skanky women, and of course – BEER!
What more could a guy ask for? Obvious answer would be two women at one time…while watching the Superbowl. But that’s a whole different post.
Lets be honest, each sporting event deserves a different drinking etiquette. Unless you’re the type that says fuck it and pounds through each inning like boxed wine at a bridal shower.
Here’s how you should pace yourself at each different sporting events:
Have you seen this shit?
Bacon flavored vodka? Ass in a bottle?
Black Rock Spirits located in Seattle, WA are the creators of this lovely product. Quite frankly, what do you drink it with?
Look, this is the best of both worlds: Bacon and Booze. Be a man, crush that drink! Below are examples of bacon vodka drinks:
It’s The Mad Olive Drinking Game Day!
Do you have the skills to conquer wizard stardom? Are you a level 80 drinking wizard?
Welcome to the glorious drinking game called “Wisest Wizard.” Here’s what you will need:
Do you have a brand? A go-to wine?
We won’t claim to be wine connoisseurs, but rest assured we know cheap wines under $10. Remember that price does not always reflect quality when it comes to wine.
Here is a quick list to impress the ladies with your wine skills…