Santa is a cowboy, and cowboys don’t drink fucking milk.
Every year we shove milk down the poor guys throat, have you ever seen Jackass? Down a gallon of milk and your blowing chunks like Garth from Wayne’s World.
Don’t you think the big guy enjoys himself a cocktail? I would feel much better flying around the world if I could slam whiskey at each house.
Below are the top 5 drinks you should serve Santa this Christmas: