“A couple weekends ago my roommate, “Squirrel” (who is the king of online vagina), set up a MILF run at a local cougar den.
Squirrel, holding up his reputation, lined up 3 cougars looking for a night out on the young pole. Which meant we picked up a third wingman, “Frat” to head up the 3 on 3.
“The night started with *Josh (wily little 24yr old guy) going to a rap party for the show he’s been working on. His two buddies were with him, but bounced early. Josh continued pounding drinks and scouring the party for something to take home. Apparently white boys strike out 93.4% of the time at “rap parties.” Its science…
After striking out and consuming enough JagerBombs to sedate a small elephant, he decided to catch a cab. On the way back he stops at 7-11, probably to pound some nachos or something.
In line, he meets a 19 year old white trash girl from Texas. This girl is no saint, but she’s apparently in town to visit her “sugar daddy.” Direct quote. So Josh, the ever slick drunk, talks her into coming home with him. Which he then proceeds to rail the shit out of her.
All’s well in the morning until he checks his phone. EPIC FAIL. Apparently while railing this random chick, he pocket dialed his 40 yr old cougar and left a 2 minute message of this girl screaming and him grunting his little ass off! What followed was a 2 minute message from the cougar screaming about a break up.
Ever the sport, Josh takes the news in stride and continues on a week of banging the Texas chick in random spots: her friends stairwell while on ecstasy, a McDonald’s bathroom, you get the picture.”
*Not Actual Name
Carnival recently announced that it will be offering a “Cougar Cruise” come December. We at The Mad Olive could not be thrilled enough, but it draws many questions:
Really, the list could go on for days. ..
Price is looking at around $125 a head for 3 days at sea. Not a bad price to pay for trophy game. Although the National Cougar Convention was only $15 at the door…word of advice: get in now before these coug-a-thons start charging premiums. Good luck guys!
This post was sent to us from up North, thank you for the awesome article!
Cougars have been around for years. In fact, they’re pretty much the definition of yesterday’s news. While landing a cougar may be the peak of the night for some, I’ve found that that this “Cougar fad” has much more potential than the swapping of DNA.
Here are a few tips to help maximize your cougar experience…
