Posts Tagged ‘drinking’

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What if You Pass Out in an Elevator?

Monday, September 28th, 2009

elevator

Follow-Up Short Story From L.A…Enjoy!

“A few weeks ago at Comic-con, our friend Josh was with me (read about Josh here).  We were both absolutely dead tired, but decided red bull and vodka would prevail.

After an uneventful night, I went back to the hotel around 2am before falling flat on my face.  Josh, decided that 2am binge drinking was a better idea.  Which resulted in stumbling back to The Hilton, and passing out in the express elevator (It was 40 floors).

After multiple rides up and down, someone woke the drunken passenger.  The man standing over him happened to be the actor who plays Silas in Weeds.  The actor asked him “Are you ok?”

Josh replied “Do you fucking mind, I’m doing a social experiment.”

Our Thoughts:

  • RBV’s = uppers and downers kids,  drugs 101…
  • This “Josh” guy flipping rocks.  So hard.
  • Whats airfare to L.A?
  • Did you ever read the Gary Busey Projects?

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Posted in Readers Stories, Social Experiments | 3 Comments »

WARNING: Technology Can Destroy Relationships

Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009

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Sent to us from Los Angeles…Enjoy!

“The night started with *Josh (wily little 24yr old guy) going to a rap party for the show he’s been working on.   His two buddies were with him, but bounced early.  Josh continued pounding drinks and scouring the party for something to take home.  Apparently white boys strike out 93.4% of the time at “rap parties.”  Its science…

After striking out and consuming enough JagerBombs to sedate a small elephant, he decided to catch a cab.  On the way back he stops at 7-11, probably to pound some nachos or something.

In line, he meets a 19 year old white trash girl from Texas.  This girl is no saint, but she’s apparently in town to visit her “sugar daddy.”  Direct quote.  So Josh, the ever slick drunk, talks her into coming home with him.  Which he then proceeds to rail the shit out of her.

All’s well in the morning until he checks his phone.  EPIC FAIL.  Apparently while railing this random chick, he pocket dialed his 40 yr old cougar and left a 2 minute message of this girl screaming and him grunting his little ass off!  What followed was a 2 minute message from the cougar screaming about a break up.

Ever the sport, Josh takes the news in stride and continues on a week of banging the Texas chick in random spots:  her friends stairwell while on ecstasy, a McDonald’s bathroom, you get the picture.”

Our Thoughts…

  • What happened to the Nachos?  If your paying for a cab ride, to get some nachos, and you don’t end up with any nachos…than you fucked up.  Royally.
  • Who picks up women at 7-11?
  • The old pocket cell phone dial, ruining relationships since 1973
  • Be afraid, very afraid.  You have now pissed off the most dangerous animal in the wild:  The Cougar
  • McDonald’s Bathrooms are classy…

*Not Actual Name

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Posted in Readers Stories | 14 Comments »

Official Booze Accessory Day at The Mad Olive!

Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009

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Today is OFFICIAL BOOZE ACCESSORY DAY at The Mad Olive! What does that mean?  That means we salute two products that make binge drinking all worth while…

ICEBOOZE Luge:  See pics here

Remember taking ice luge shots in college?  Now you can in the joy of your own home.  This is a do it yourself ice luge maker.  Fill it with water, freeze it, and bring on the black out.

FLABONGO Beer Bong:  See pics here

This odd shaped beer bong resembles a Flamingo that you turn upside down.  Anyone who creates a one-man beer bong deserves credit.  We have yet to determined if you lose man points for purchasing, carrying, or using this product…

*These products have not been field tested by The Mad Olive, let us know if you get to use one!

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Posted in Drink Hustling, Games | 1 Comment »

What To Do When A Woman Asks “Will You Buy Me A Drink?”

Sunday, September 20th, 2009

People Young-woman-drink

*Disclaimer:  This rule is true most of the time, use your best judgment…

Ahhhh…The age old question:  “Buy me a drink?”  There are things going on here guys, which could mean:

  • She is testing you
  • She is really really thirsty
  • She left her Visa at home
  • She has a problem
  • She forgot this is a bar, and you have to pay for drinks here
  • She would like to be boozed up before deciding to follow you home

(more…)

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Posted in Drink Hustling, Tips and Tricks | 9 Comments »

Cougar Hunting On The High Seas

Wednesday, September 16th, 2009

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Carnival recently announced that it will be offering a “Cougar Cruise” come December.  We at The Mad Olive could not be thrilled enough, but it draws many questions:

  • Do cougars float?
  • Do cougar rules change once on a boat?
  • Is corralling that many cougars safe?
  • Does Carnival provide condoms?

Really, the list could go on for days. ..

Price is looking at around $125 a head for 3 days at sea.  Not a bad price to pay for trophy game.  Although the National Cougar Convention was only $15 at the door…word of advice:  get in now before these coug-a-thons start charging premiums.  Good luck guys!

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Posted in Cougars | Comments Off

Do You Know How To Pull A Houdini?

Monday, September 14th, 2009

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Let’s talk about a classic move:  “The Houdini.”  We all have THAT friend who magically disappears into thin air throughout the night.  Where do they go?  How do they slip out unnoticed by the group?  This is what we call The Houdini my friends.  Below are some tips for executing this killer vanishing act.
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Posted in Tips and Tricks | Comments Off

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